Sunday, April 22, 2007
ok. i had lots of things to blog abt just now. but its all blank now. ill try to remember some. just things troubling me right now.
first. life has returned to its boring nature since i got back from thailand. they are talking about going back there in sept/oct and so im like freaking looking foward to it. i hope its gonna work out well and we can go have more fun.
next. friends. i dont doubt i still have good friends. but it feels so weird when some just disappear after getting attatched. they just vanish. thats my sec sch mates that im close to. then comes my classmates in poly. sometimes i feel im in the wrong class. i should have just changed and followed germaine. the other half of the class that are new, i cant seem to find a face that i can click with. and the other half that were from year one, some shit problems here and there. and i dont noe who im gonna click with. its as if im planning who i wanna be with but, the fact is, im not comfortable with some. maybe im just a fussy shit.
next. volleyball. i dont noe how to describe my feelings. i definitely enjoy playing vball and crapping with the comm. but somehow, i feel i dont have wat it takes to be in the comm. not only do i not play well. there is this feeling that i dont noe how to describe. oh wells. time will tell. and i hope i can go for those chill outs with them. darn family.
lastly. family. as ive said before. wat may appear as a happy family is actually bullshit. ive always been told to set a good example for my sister coz im the eldest. so shouldnt they, as parents, or rather, the father, set a good example. at least for whatever u want ur daughters to follow. or even better, set an example that relates to how u want to control ur daughters. u dont say and implement rules for ur daughter and yet break them umpteen times. for goodness sake, be a better father, husband and son. apart from that, when we, a family of 4, sit in the car tog. mostly only on sat nights, it feels like it is only a family of 3. there, the 3 of them will joke and laugh, while i force myself to sleep and ignore the surroundings. while forcing, i think to myself. how did i get myself into such a situation? the truth is, im more obedient den my sister. at her age, i didnt travel to town, have a boyfriend or anth like that. town with my friends was about the last thing i did in sec sch. just that 2 words that was meant to help my mother got me into such a plight. oh wells. thats life. unfair.
my distant cousin. though not very close, he still has the poh blood. as those who are close to me may noe how small my family is. thus, i kinda feel for him. ill just have to pray that the opp goes well and he will be normal again. when will such shit stop happening to the poh family man. he is only 19 this year. spare him. hai. brain tumour is nth light man. to those out there that like to use illnesses and all these shit to get sympathy, maybe u guys should be the ones down with these illneses. morons.
.:end of post:.
5:32 PM
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